We Bringing it Back..

I'm at home.
Let me tell you. I love my home.
But its not the same anymore. It doesn't mean that I don't like it anymore. But the new things contradict with the memories. Sometimes I hate the memories for being so awesome.
What I feel right now is that things aren't the same anymore.
My best friend ain't here. He's not here. My parents are not here.
Yes, I miss all of them.
The impact on the others didn't help as well. I guess the time when we left somehow caused the others to drift off as well. I didnt' know that it was going to happen until I saw it last night. We hung out together last night, but I won't emphasize on the 'together' part. there was some kind of tension and in the midst of it, some of them were high. Not that I have anything against people getting high (I think that I'll try once in the future), but you know, I just felt disappointed because it felt nothing like it was before.
if my best friend was there, everything would have been better.
if he was there, it would have a whole new different experience.
when i pass these streets, everything that i hold on to would always be in the mind but not in sight anymore.
i guess that's whats holding me back in manila. i'm starting to come into terms to accepting it as my new home, but jakarta would always have a special place in my heart.
i cant really comprehend into what im feeling right now because i have something in my hands that i have to deal with. actually its a good coping mechanism, it lets me distract myself from these feelings of disappointment.
but yeah, i will always miss the past. it will always haunt me i guess. it will remind of when things were in control in our own hands and that no one else could take it away.
and now, its almost gone.
i guess i got to move on and continue to make new memories someplace else.
this semester break is probably going to be the final bow to high school memories. and then i gotta keep the car running.